Who We Are

Why we exist

For most of modern history, "gay," "lesbian," and "bisexual" were the words we fought for. They're the words chanted at Stonewall, printed on the earliest protest signs, spoken quietly in hospital rooms during the AIDS crisis, and whispered by teenagers coming out to their parents for the first time. They're specific: they mean attraction to the same sex — or, for bisexual people, to more than one sex — without folding that attraction into a broader political identity.

In recent years, many institutions — universities, media outlets, even some LGBTQ+ organizations — have started treating "queer" as the default, more sophisticated replacement for those words. People who simply want to be called what they've always called themselves are corrected, relabeled, or told that holding onto those words is old-fashioned or exclusionary.

Being told what to call yourself — even with good intentions — isn't liberation. It's just a new kind of pressure.

This site exists for every lesbian, gay man, and bisexual person who has felt that pressure and wants to say, plainly: I know what I am. I don't need a new word for it.

What we believe

You get to decide the words that describe you. That single principle carries almost everything else on this site. It cuts in every direction: if "queer" is your word, wear it proudly — and if "lesbian," "gay," or "bisexual" is yours, no institution, activist, or style guide gets to overrule you.

Sexual orientation is specific. Being lesbian, gay, or bisexual is about who we love. It doesn't require a theory, a rejection of gender categories, or agreement on politics or lifestyle. You can be LGB and conservative, religious, monogamous, married, gender-conventional — or none of those things. These words describe an orientation, not an ideology.

Our history deserves its own names. The AIDS crisis, the marriage fight, and decades of activism were carried out by people who called themselves lesbian, gay, and bisexual. Keeping those names in circulation is how that history stays visible and honest.

What we're not

We're not anti-trans. Supporting the dignity, safety, and rights of transgender people is fully compatible with maintaining that sexual orientation and gender identity are distinct things. Plenty of our members hold both commitments every day. We go into this at length in On Homophobia & Transphobia.

We're not against people who identify as queer. Reclamation was a real and meaningful act for many people. Our objection is narrow and precise: to "queer" being imposed as a universal replacement on people who never accepted it — a story we tell in full in The History of the Word "Queer".

We're not a political party, and we're not a grievance machine. We're a community: an events calendar, a blog, a newsletter, and a growing set of resources, run independently and built by members.

What you'll find here

Beyond the essays, this is a working community. Members organize local events anywhere in the world — meetups, support groups, book clubs, sports. The blog carries essays and personal stories from members. The newsletter (subscribe in the footer, no account needed) rounds up events, posts, and community wins. And the resources page collects crisis lines and further reading.

We've also written out our thinking in depth, because these conversations deserve more than slogans: on homophobia and transphobia, on gay and lesbian erasure, on heteronormativity — honestly, both sides of it — and on why language matters.